Wobbly table? Chair too short? Buying new furniture can be expensive and stressful, and old furniture often holds sentimental value. If you insist upon keeping furniture, since you don’t yet have money to fix or replace the piece, worry not! There are options! Do you have an excess of very bad books? (No judgment!) Let’s look at some books that can help you with a furniture emergency!
Old Textbooks–Weighty, expensive, and now obsolete. You kept this thinking you’d look at it every now and again and keep the knowledge fresh in your mind. Now it mocks you from the shelf and you can’t even remember what class it was for. It’s way too late for buyback, so it’s essentially a $200 reminder that school…happened. These books are great at propping up furniture to make it taller.
The Twilight Series/Fifty Shades of Grey–No explanations needed. This is a safe space. These books got big and we all let it happen. Use these books to stabilize a wonky, wobbly table–just point the book spines towards the wall or something so no one has to know you were part of the problem.
That Best-Selling Novel You’ve Been Meaning to Finish But You Never Finished It and Now You Don’t Really Remember the Beginning and You Don’t Want to Start Over Completely– This novel is best for covering dents, holes, or scratched paint! Prominently display the book in front of whatever cosmetic issue your furniture has. Just read the summary on Wikipedia like everyone else on earth does (source: have been in a book club before).
How-To Books for Hobbies You Never Got Into– Have a hobby of collecting books for new hobbies and interests, but not interested enough to actually work hard for it? No problem! Take those Woodworking and How To Weld books and duct-tape them directly to the furniture you meant to fix. There. Don’t you feel so much more accomplished?
Hopefully, this will help with any issues you have. For any other major issue, the solution is simple: grab a book, whether it’s good or bad, open it, and place it directly in front of your face so that the issues are obscured! Problem solved.